Goodluck for sem iv ~

Hey guys , so only a few days left for me start semester iv yeah super senior okay * rise my left eyebrow ( 3 times) . *Inhale exhale how do I gonna start yeah ermm to be honest deep down bottom in my heart I am so not ready for this semester to begin , I felt like I just don't want to go . I feels like this sem it could be worst I just don't know why . I love study but I feel like I just want to start my new semester by go to another University just have a new environment. 

Maybe because of my close friend since matrik she went to Indonesia for exchange student so I feel like no one will be there , so  leave me  alone in this society , well it's not that I don't have friends I do but you know sometimes you must have one crazier friend which is otak gila-gila , macam perangai iblis kau pun sama iblis dia . * how do I explain this in English ermmm   yeah because I am kind of sarcasm in making joking well not all people can adapt it . Yes I do understand so  I try to adapt with them , is not hypocrite it just try to adapt so you can go along like that . They all fine seriously fine but sometimes you don't feel like yourself the iblis ness and satan ness you are  but yeah . I think maybe this is my problem but I will try to handle it just don't too bother so much . Living in society you should be sometimes heartless and 50/50  feeling of don't care and don't be too hope cuz people gonna leave you so 50/50 okay? 

Lone range well is normal okay , I am part of them well is not means that you don't have friend it just sometimes its good to be alone you know when you walk alone then  playing  your mp3 favorite song and wear headphone don't care about others it feels great especially when windy . I am so so happy seriously. I like to be like that so yeah . Dining alone in cafe or cafeteria is normal seriously normal well I do feel awkward at first but when you already biasa you will feels more okay and lebih khsyuk menghayati makanan especially soup , I love soup yeah chicken soup panas-panas lagi sedap but if your friends ajak makan jangan la pulak tolak sombong sangat just sometimes you know , sometimes is good to be alone and sometimes you also need friends to talk , laugh , gossiping yeah . My advice do not afraid to be lone range especially in University life. 

Plus I love to be lone range in shopping mall seriously . I do shop alone , watch movie alone yeah . Sometime I feels awkward when I go shopping into a big group like you don't have freedom to buy something macam di perhati kan LOL  except with my mom cuz she gonna paid it lol . If I really want to shop my things I rather be alone I don't know maybe my dad always send me to  shopping mall  let me choose what I want then he pick me up after I am done yeah so dah terbiasa . Maybe sebab malas nak tunggu well normal la perempuan . You know when you already feels comfortable to be single after a long time it's hard to be mingle right ? you know what I mean right? right ? I just don't know how to be mingle life its gonna be super duper AWKWARD , single is better (untuk ketika ini LOL spe ta nak khawin do ) (tetibe)

Okay back to motion , yeah the next things I am worried about the class . I actually don't care about the classmate so much because I always aim in my mind ' mampos kau la nak cakap apa, tujuan aku nak belajar ' you know (some okay some) people like to looks at you from  bottom to toes and tryna fashionista about you and judge you well I dont care duh . But the problems is I cannot aim on my mind about the lecturers , ta kan la nak aim ' mampos ah lecturer ni ajar apa yang penting aku ambik subject ni pastu lepas ' woooo mampos gred aku . The lecturers very important okay they will you give greds okay . So this really makes me worried , I do solat istiqarah hope next semseter I already choose the right class but so far ada satu class I still ragu-ragu I really hope  I make a right choice.  

Free advice ; I pernah dengar satu ceramah ni if I am not mistaken Ustazah Bahiyah dia cakap dalam apa-apa hal atau masalah . Tolong lah jadikan Allah yang pertama mendengar masalah kita sebelum manusia iaitu dalam doa atau dengan berdoa sebab manusia hanya mampu mendengar dan memberi nasihat walhal Allah adalah  Maha Kuasa , hanya Allah sahaja yang boleh mengizikan atau tidak mengizikan sesuatu perkara . So mari lah kita amalkan segala masalah itu bagi Allah yang pertama mendengar baru lah manusia well bukan salah tapi make Allah number one okay :) 

Solat istiqarah is one of the way untuk kita buat pilihan  yang pilihan kita yang terbaik well ta semestinya jodoh , a little bit my history I do solat isitkarah when that time  I am confuse too choose matrik . asasi or diploma suatu ketika dulu tapi di takdirkan haritu I terbaca akhbar pasal matik , asasi and diploma and masa tu naluri I cakap matrik . Alhamdulilah my matrik life so so awesome okay and I banyak jugak belajar agama is feels great . The choice I made sangat terbaik and dekat matrik jugak i kenal my best friends yang guide I kenal Islam I means  hukum hakam menutup aurat especially, batas pergaulan antara lelaki dan perempuan which is that time I don't know tepuk tampar between different sex  is a wrong thing .

Well here some story about this peristiwa yang I akan ingat sampai mati LOL . Haritu I ade presentation business dalam class  so I am the first group buat presentation  syarikat milikan tunggal okay (tengok tajuk pun I ingat ) so we have to use slides . Masa tu ada masalah technical so perempuan kan mana lah nak tahu  . In my class ade la a few lelaki tapi mostly dorang budak sekolah agama okay lepasan sekolah agama and sorang jea budak sekolah harian . So this one guy dia lepasan sekolah agama lelaki yang sekolah tak ada perempuan okay , he offer la try to help me so lepas dia tolong it's works . So I pun happy la kan tertepuk bahu dia cakap thanks masa tu semua budak laki class i macam muka terkejut dan terdiam sebentar , masa tu i kan bodoh so macam yeah whatever then I continue my presentation . That's why in matrik classmate laki macam tak suka dengan I macam bahaya la minah ni tak jaga batas like that la . Then one day I tegur la that guy sebab dia sakit mata kot and dia pusing pastu buat dunno I was like kau pehal aku tanya jea , my best friends pun terkejut la why should he act like that then I explain last peristiwa when I spoke with him which is during my presentation that day to my best friends  and baru I faham , maybe dia terkejut kot  ada perempuan macam tu ye la culture shock dah la ta pernah jumpa perempuan sekali terus kene tepuk LOL I pun terkejut jugak baru kene tepuk dah diam pehal so as conclusion sama2 terkejut and my best friends explain more about this pergaulan hukum which is dosa . So from that accident I try to learn my pergaulan see setiap peristiwa ada hikmahnya,

I also learn solat sunat duha and solat terawaih and a few doa doa and I also I got lucky draw  dapat Al- Quran which is before this I never own one  okay so banyak benda berlaku only one year yeah. Don't worry everyone has their start point  jangan rasa sedih cuma beza kita awal sikit lambat sikit that's all . As long you still alive you never be too late to start a new one or learn new one okay.

So I end here. Thanks.