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#Quick update 11

Mungkin ramai akan cakap aku bodoh atau seumpamanya .
Mungkin itu semua benar . Sungguh .
Tapi aku takut .
 Benarlah kata bonda semakin aku mintak jauh semakin ia menghampiri .
Aku bukan menolak tapi mengelak
Sungguh aku tidak layak , benar .
Telah banyak aku melakukan dosa mahupun silap.
Jika dosa itu berbau , akulah yang berbau paling busuk .
Mungkin 1000 jauh batunya masih terhidu , atau lebih jauh lagi .
Aku pernah terbaca di dalam al-quran .
Ayatnya berbunyi lebih kurang (aku buat ayat sendiri)
''Kalau kau buat salah mintak ampun pada Allah , jika kau buat salah lagi mintak ampun pada Allah dan jika kau mengulangi lagi mintak ampun pada Allah , sesungguhnya Allah maha pengampun ''
Hati aku sentap , sudah berjuta kali aku membuat kesilapan dan kesalahan yang sama namun Allah masih menerima .
Aku pernah berjanji dengan diri aku sendiri namun aku tetap melakukan .
Betapa hinanya aku .
Mungkin luaran atau mata kasar orang melihat aku baik namun hanya Allah sahaja tahu siapa aku sebenarnya.
Dia umpama Ali yang dinanti .
Aku tidak layak .
Jika itulah jodoh dan suratan yang tertulis aku menerima . 
Aku tidak mampu hendak menolak .
Allah tahu apa  yang terbaik .

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