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Deeply , deeply , deeply little D


Sometimes I can't understand what or who I am . Lately 'we' figure out something well as you know next year I will become 20 years old , what tween-ty ahh no more 'belas-belas' is already 'puluh-puluh ' . Sound old dude .

It's remind me of my childhood when I was a child I always woke up in morning said ' Kan best besar boleh beli ini tu lagi-lagi barbie perhh nak full set ' - now I know how demand I was .
Now , I woke up ' Kan best kecik asyik  main je ' - now I know how being adult . Well life must go on right.

The only thing bothering us everyday yeah everyday is about  ' jodoh ' , well 4 of us still single . Actually I don't mind be single .  Freedom  . I do happy with my life  no boys cool beb . But you can't  run thinking about future I mean a guy will lead you , own a family , your child running around the baby crying ahh to be a wife and a mother . Gotta it ?

Jodoh itu rahsia Allah- yeah I know that but we should find it right ? . Maybe some people might say I am too picky ? Did I ? No well (sometimes) , or maybe lose heart for being in love ? maybe .

To be honest well sometimes not sometimes I always thinking about him , he is not my first boy-friend but maybe he is  my first love, logically is already 3 years but why he still stick on my mind , feelings? noo I don't have feeling with him it just  think it . Yeah . Zero .
I don't know why he is so special ----

Maybe his eyes
His smile
The way he confess me with song and played guitar in front of not public , tuition-mate ? (maybe)
but his voice ta sedap mana pun .
Warm me
Hold me
The worst thing  I still remember his name and his father name (when I remember someone father name it mean a lot to me )

Ahhh I don't  know . He already have a girlfriend now , yeah way better then me, a chines girl , woaa
10x better .
Frankly - I am okay with it .

Maybe I don't feels to be in love again , yeah . Crush? Haha favorite it just a hobby liking someone . Desert for eyes haha .

And the worst part , I don't know how this idea come from I do strongly believe that I will meet my future husband in library . This is so ridiculous but until now I still believe it  . Why library ? Don't ask me .

Maybe not this sem , next or another next sem  but yeah I still waiting something don't exist .

Poor little D , a loss girl .
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