Hideous

I don't know why lately I feels 

   low-esteem with myself  .

I  just don't know . 

Almost everyday I asked my mom , 

' why I am so hideous ?' 

Then my mom will said

' God already created like that , you should be grateful , what if you don't have nose ?' 

A long pause there -----

When some people said

'hey , you already beautiful la , or 

some may said

'hey . you cute what 

and 

I was thinking

it was a lie 

totally a liars

I don't know why I always reflect my self

some  big and ugly monster

sometimes 

Yeah to describe how 

hideous 

I am

Then , 

when I am struggle with my own conflict 

I don't realize the real me its getting faded 

I mean 

How to content me with others

Until today when my friend said

'why you being so silent ? it makes me feel awkward?'

Is that what people see?

What people feels ?

About me 

When I looked at them

Goddamn why they're so pretty ? so perfect ?

At the same time , 

Some my friend said

'Why she is so ugly'

And I was like 

'What the hell you're so pretty and gorgeous' 

Then 

I realize something

Actually what we  see and feels about us

Is not the same 

What people see and feels about us  

 Gotta it ?

Check this out and try  to figure out  what the massage this video trying to deliver . 

Thanks akk shera for suggestion 

 

Before I  am trying to get fade

from 

you

family 

friends

and myself

I must rebuild back my confident level 

before 

it is getting worse 

-

You are more beautiful than you think