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Hideous

I don't know why lately I feels 
   low-esteem with myself  .
I  just don't know . 
Almost everyday I asked my mom , 
' why I am so hideous ?' 
Then my mom will said
' God already created like that , you should be grateful , what if you don't have nose ?' 

A long pause there -----

When some people said
'hey , you already beautiful la , or 
some may said
'hey . you cute what 
and 
I was thinking
it was a lie 
totally a liars
I don't know why I always reflect my self
some  big and ugly monster
sometimes 
Yeah to describe how 
hideous 
I am

Then , 
when I am struggle with my own conflict 
I don't realize the real me its getting faded 
I mean 
How to content me with others
Until today when my friend said
'why you being so silent ? it makes me feel awkward?'
Is that what people see?
What people feels ?
About me 

When I looked at them
Goddamn why they're so pretty ? so perfect ?

At the same time , 
Some my friend said
'Why she is so ugly'
And I was like 
'What the hell you're so pretty and gorgeous' 

Then 
I realize something
Actually what we  see and feels about us
Is not the same 
What people see and feels about us  
 Gotta it ?

Check this out and try  to figure out  what the massage this video trying to deliver . 
Thanks akk shera for suggestion 

 


Before I  am trying to get fade
from 
you
family 
friends
and myself
I must rebuild back my confident level 
before 
it is getting worse 
-



You are more beautiful than you think 
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