LITTLE D

I don't know why lately I feels     low-esteem with myself  . I  just don't know .  Almost everyday I asked my mom ,  ' why I am so hideous ?'  Then my mom will said ' God already created like that , you should be grateful , what if you don't have nose ?'  A long pause there ----- When some people said 'hey , you already beautiful la , or  some may said 'hey . you cute what  and  I was thinking it was a lie  totally a liars I don't know why I always reflect my self some  big and ugly monster sometimes  Yeah to describe how  hideous  I am Then ,  when I am struggle with my own conflict  I don't realize the real me its getting faded  I mean  How to content me with others Until today when my friend said 'why you being so silent ? it makes me feel awkward?' Is that what people see? What people feels ? About me  ...

Mungkin ramai akan cakap aku bodoh atau seumpamanya . Mungkin itu semua benar . Sungguh . Tapi aku takut .  Benarlah kata bonda semakin aku mintak jauh semakin ia menghampiri . Aku bukan menolak tapi mengelak Sungguh aku tidak layak , benar . Telah banyak aku melakukan dosa mahupun silap. Jika dosa itu berbau , akulah yang berbau paling busuk . Mungkin 1000 jauh batunya masih terhidu , atau lebih jauh lagi . Aku pernah terbaca di dalam al-quran . Ayatnya berbunyi lebih kurang (aku buat ayat sendiri) ''Kalau kau buat salah mintak ampun pada Allah , jika kau buat salah lagi mintak ampun pada Allah dan jika kau mengulangi lagi mintak ampun pada Allah , sesungguhnya Allah maha pengampun '' Hati aku sentap , sudah berjuta kali aku membuat kesilapan dan kesalahan yang sama namun Allah masih menerima . Aku pernah berjanji dengan diri aku sendiri namun aku tetap melakukan . Betapa hinanya aku . Mungkin luaran atau mata kasar orang melihat aku baik...

I found something  , and I think it such a beautiful things to shared .  How Adam was created .  Menurut Ibnu Abbas , Izrail telah mengambil 13 jenis tanah untuk dijadikan Adam iaitu : i . Tanah Baitul Maqdis untuk kepala manusia kerana di situlah tempat akalnya . ii  Tanah Tursina untuk telinganya kerana di situlah alat pendengaran dan mendengar nasihat . iii  Tanah Iraq untuk dahinya kerana di situ tempat bersujud kepada Allah iv Tanah Aden untuk mukanya kerana di situ tempat berhias dan kecantikan  v  Tanah telaga al-Kaustar untuk matanya kerana di situ tempat untuk menarik perhatian  vi Tanah al-Kautsar untuk giginya kerana di situ tempat manisan. vii Tanah Kaabah untuk tangan kanannya kerana di situ tempat mencari nafkah dan kerjasama sesama manusia. viii Tanah Parsi untuk tangan kirinya kerana di situ tempat beristinjak . ix Tanah Babylon untuk perutnya kerana di situ tempay seks (berahi) dan tipu daya syaitan ya...

Final exams just around the corner as always as a student feelings terrified fear of exams . So do I feel a little bit worried , I think I should because  lately I've been skip many class ah I am so lazy to wake up early in morning well actually I want to wake up but I always overshoot hihi , so lazy to chaos then I continue  to sleep.  I do know why I lose my sense to study , I miss me when I was in matriculation 'boleh tahan rajin ' maybe is been too long I leave it so it needs some time to get back  that sense . After I perform my Isya' , I don't know I feels very sad it just suddenly . I imagined past stories, I imagined my life story . Thought about death . Then I remember this . Maybe this is my luck . I am not good muslimah yeah .  Afiqah : weh semalam dinner number bertuah hang dapat apa ? Me : Cer teka ? Afiqah : Macam buku je . Me: Tak ah Al-Quran  Afiqah : Seriously? Woaa hang ta de rasa apa ke Me : Aku ada...

Have you ever feel you want to be him/ her . I mean  want to be in him/her shoes .  Looks so perfect whatever you want you will get with just finger picking .  Then , when boys/girls passing by looking at you just a first glance and not making the second thought .  Then , no worries any quiz or exam because you actually incredible intelligent .  Have you? Same goes me .  I don't know why suddenly I write it , maybe I motivate myself .  But , this is human nature .  Actually without we  thought that up people who want to be like us . They see us .  Yeah human cycle . We never feels satisfied with our self . Life like a shoes   Looks pretty / smart outside  Try you to wear it Big or Small Try to walk it Loose or  Hurt Then you will know This is my life and Why I Am I  We have different size and different test . God has given us the exact size and fit for us. Our job is to wea...