LITTLE D

Assalamualaikum and peace upon to you, Alhamdulillah we have already stepped into the New Year. Alhamdulillah Allah is still giving us the opportunity for living in this year.   So Happy New! So as usual, I am going to recap what has happened in 2018. In one word I would describe my 2018 will be consistency. Every month I will put a monthly goal eg: read 3 books at least a month. Alhamdulillah, mostly I have achieved so let’s rewind back:   1)      One year in one country Last year, I went to Indonesia with my travel partner Aini . One of the best trip, I am so happy everything runs smoothly as planned. Even though, it was quite a last minute plan, I only manage to plan the itinerary only one month. Alhamdulillah it runs so smoothly and Allah do ease our journey. It is one of my favourite trip not because I make the itinerary but the most calmest trip because of the people, nature and everything. I feel like I am having a honeymoon during the trip...

Hey guys , so only a few days left for me start semester iv yeah super senior okay * rise my left eyebrow ( 3 times) . *Inhale exhale how do I gonna start yeah ermm to be honest deep down bottom in my heart I am so not ready for this semester to begin , I felt like I just don't want to go . I feels like this sem it could be worst I just don't know why . I love study but I feel like I just want to start my new semester by go to another University just have a new environment.  Maybe because of my close friend since matrik she went to Indonesia for exchange student so I feel like no one will be there , so  leave me  alone in this society , well it's not that I don't have friends I do but you know sometimes you must have one crazier friend which is otak gila-gila , macam perangai iblis kau pun sama iblis dia . * how do I explain this in English ermmm   yeah because I am kind of sarcasm in making joking well not all people can adapt it . Yes I do understand so  ...

I don't know why lately I feels     low-esteem with myself  . I  just don't know .  Almost everyday I asked my mom ,  ' why I am so hideous ?'  Then my mom will said ' God already created like that , you should be grateful , what if you don't have nose ?'  A long pause there ----- When some people said 'hey , you already beautiful la , or  some may said 'hey . you cute what  and  I was thinking it was a lie  totally a liars I don't know why I always reflect my self some  big and ugly monster sometimes  Yeah to describe how  hideous  I am Then ,  when I am struggle with my own conflict  I don't realize the real me its getting faded  I mean  How to content me with others Until today when my friend said 'why you being so silent ? it makes me feel awkward?' Is that what people see? What people feels ? About me  ...

I like being independent Not so much of an investment No one to tell me what to do I like being by myself Don’t gotta entertain anybody else No one to answer to But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold Someone to give me their jacket when its cold Got that young love even when we’re old Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand Pick me up, pull me close, be my man I will love you till the end So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone Cause when the time is right You’ll be here, but for now Dear no one, this is your love song I don’t really like big crowds I tend to shut people out I like my space, yeah But I’d love to have a soul mate God will give him to me someday & I know it’ll be worth the wait So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone Cause when the time is right You’ll be here, but for now Dear no one, this is your love song But sometimes, I just want some...

I found something  , and I think it such a beautiful things to shared .  How Adam was created .  Menurut Ibnu Abbas , Izrail telah mengambil 13 jenis tanah untuk dijadikan Adam iaitu : i . Tanah Baitul Maqdis untuk kepala manusia kerana di situlah tempat akalnya . ii  Tanah Tursina untuk telinganya kerana di situlah alat pendengaran dan mendengar nasihat . iii  Tanah Iraq untuk dahinya kerana di situ tempat bersujud kepada Allah iv Tanah Aden untuk mukanya kerana di situ tempat berhias dan kecantikan  v  Tanah telaga al-Kaustar untuk matanya kerana di situ tempat untuk menarik perhatian  vi Tanah al-Kautsar untuk giginya kerana di situ tempat manisan. vii Tanah Kaabah untuk tangan kanannya kerana di situ tempat mencari nafkah dan kerjasama sesama manusia. viii Tanah Parsi untuk tangan kirinya kerana di situ tempat beristinjak . ix Tanah Babylon untuk perutnya kerana di situ tempay seks (berahi) dan tipu daya syaitan ya...

Final exams just around the corner as always as a student feelings terrified fear of exams . So do I feel a little bit worried , I think I should because  lately I've been skip many class ah I am so lazy to wake up early in morning well actually I want to wake up but I always overshoot hihi , so lazy to chaos then I continue  to sleep.  I do know why I lose my sense to study , I miss me when I was in matriculation 'boleh tahan rajin ' maybe is been too long I leave it so it needs some time to get back  that sense . After I perform my Isya' , I don't know I feels very sad it just suddenly . I imagined past stories, I imagined my life story . Thought about death . Then I remember this . Maybe this is my luck . I am not good muslimah yeah .  Afiqah : weh semalam dinner number bertuah hang dapat apa ? Me : Cer teka ? Afiqah : Macam buku je . Me: Tak ah Al-Quran  Afiqah : Seriously? Woaa hang ta de rasa apa ke Me : Aku ada...

Sometimes I can't understand what or who I am . Lately 'we' figure out something well as you know next year I will become 20 years old , what tween-ty ahh no more 'belas-belas' is already 'puluh-puluh ' . Sound old dude . It's remind me of my childhood when I was a child I always woke up in morning said ' Kan best besar boleh beli ini tu lagi-lagi barbie perhh nak full set ' - now I know how demand I was . Now , I woke up ' Kan best kecik asyik  main je ' - now I know how being adult . Well life must go on right. The only thing bothering us everyday yeah everyday is about  ' jodoh ' , well 4 of us still single . Actually I don't mind be single .  Freedom  . I do happy with my life  no boys cool beb . But you can't  run thinking about future I mean a guy will lead you , own a family , your child running around the baby crying ahh to be a wife and a mother . Gotta it ? Jodoh itu rahsia Allah- yeah I know that but w...

I do have a great time with them . This is 'our' first time run out from our prison to visit other place , well farthest near the town, see  just holed up in the  Sintok woods . How sad . So yesterday we went to Kuala Perlis with the tallest akk fakirah as the driver and the tourist guide akk ida . Here we go . First destination . Kuala Perlis .  Seriously this thing ' sotong goreng tepung ' superbb . Sedap sangat , ini pun order untuk dua orang see banyak sangat . I do love this picture , model - akk ida . Actually akk ida want to invite us to see the sunset, but the weather is  covered by mist. But is okay we do feel very fun to eat . Yummy . So pretty . Then we perform our Magrib at 'masjid terapung ' . Subahan' allah , I do admire this masjid . By the way ignore my face yeah . When the wind blow to the face I feels I can fly waaahh . I do love zephyr . I wish I can go there again its so beautiful . Next location ,...

I skip class today . So bored in class , when your foreigner lecturer try to speak in malay and you was like haaaa whaaatt you know you like deaf people and your mouth open try to catch up his words  , well yeah is good for him learn our language but for me it was D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R , I am who will sit in examination   . Now I can imagine how my grades  will be , ahhhh . Yeah little D bad girl now but best apa ponteng kelas . I have an intention to do it again la . So November , is quite busy for me , do that do this. This is my first time become committee members  in an islamic program . The program called 'MAN ANA' siapa saya . Is quite interesting,  I experience that I can learn and how do I handle program, well is quite tiring but it was great . By the way is religious program so that we can improve the knowledge about religion, it's very exciting to be learned. two boom - my cheek , how worst . Ugly me and my roommate . First time , jadi AJK ...

Finally it's mid-sem break but seriously is not feels like a mid-sem it feels a mid-sem assignment . I had thought to take a break from studying but again after answering statistic paper like a bullshit . Yeah I just don't want to talk about that,  because of  this paper I've skip my statistics class  , yeah lazy to get off from the bed in early that morning then seeing your lecturer face like your seeing  the  answer sheets will get zero . Maybe I am a person so easily get depresses , maybe perhaps ? I dunno . Sometimes we not depress on the work we should done but, the person who we should face it right? Yeah , I know not everyone can follow our pace and not all of us can follow he/her pace. We are born with differences and differences of character. Some said  that the differences can be close friends and some said friend can be triggered when there is a similarity. Gota it? I personally do not know whether I am guilty or not but  if ...

I thank God this was the first time back to Putrajaya after nearly 6 weeks in Sintok, only God knows the joy of coming home to me, feels like being in heaven. You know how right at home, all things well feel comfortable. So, how Sintok. Okay la life was not the same at the University like first life in  matriculation . Different circumstances, different people different attitude but even this kind of people I do not care what they say as long as what I do it right and do not harass or inconvenience people for me that's enough.I'm not the kind of people who want to figure out why it did not like me or why people look at me preoccupied. This is me, then keep your mouth shut if you don't know and  stopped evaluate. I just pray that Allah  may further simplify my upcoming plan , and the introduction of friendships here that I just remain standing until the end. It's fun when you get to know some  friend who 'sama kepala ' and stayed in same state but it als...

Life is sometimes unpredictable. I do not know why lately I'm too depressed with myself. My fault? Maybe I'm too far away from Allah may this part of the test. Allah may have planned the way my life better. Allah is the  first used for guided me. When I tell my life story to them, they said I was lucky meditating, when I'm alone and reflect upon myself, do I able to maintain this guidance? Too many trials, I almost collapsed. But there is a faith in my heart I will continue to get up and fight, it is not easy to defend something simple collapsing. Let them insult, let them look down. leave. God is all-knowing what is implied. Be patient, O hearts that one day success will come with full meaning.

Kadang-kadang aku tak paham dengan sikap seseorang itu . Kalau nak berkawan mesti tengok family background dia whether from rich family or not . Kalau tak kaya mesti melihat paras rupa cantik ke ta ? . Mungkin ini satu lumrah , Tapi trend kat sini tak macam ni but still they will seeking on something , apa? in courses . Aku tak paham kenapa dorang kalau nak bergaul mesti tengok kepada course seseorang tu  , well yeah not all of them but some , because of this some people mencacatkan pandangan dan pemikiran seseorang kepada seseorang . Gotta it ?  Course kami tak se'gah' nama bangunan kami even our courses in international school but people still look us down , kalau kami sebut apa nama course kami, mereka akan mempamerkan riaksi muka 'ouh course tu je ?' kadang-kadang aku rase macam nak tumbuk terajang je . Nasib aku perempuan . Nasib berbaju kurung . Nasib bertudung . Kalau ta memang aku dah ganyang kau kat situ .  Pernah juga seseorang dari course account...

This is called the life, times continue to run without knowing what it means stop, alternating day night.I never cease to recognize something, maybe change will happen, but that's the reality that I need to know. Not now maybe later.This is my new life that I will be confronted in the next 4 years. Maybe this is my destiny. Maybe this is the best way to me. Perhaps this is where my success. Maybe and maybe and possibly. dude it's already 12.30 time to sleep meh , (maggad  I'm soo gemok hell yeah my face ) #16 september , Hari Malaysia We are KLians .

phts & edit  by myself Alhamdulilah I'm safely arrived my destination this evening , yeah it was  long journey so do my heart  began to move away . May Allah ease me  . Bismillahirrahmanirrahim Life , it will pass us by so fast . But really , it's up to us how far our journey is and when we finally hop off . And in those moments before leaving, you must wonder , was my journey worth it in the end? . And the answer should be 'yes' . -mellifuous Said goodbye , turned around and you were gone,gone,gone . Faded into the setting  sun , slipped away. But I won't cry cause I know , I'll never be lonely .For you are the stars to me , you are the light I follow . In a place far away where the water meets the  sky The thought makes me smile Sometimes I feel my heart is breaking , But I stay strong and I hold on cause I know I'll see you again and this is not where it end , See you again