LITTLE D

Assalamualaikum and hello dear readers, Hi is been long time I didn’t post anything. Here’s come a carrier life. To be honest, I just can’t believe I am already on carrier journey. Is not what I do expect. Yes, high expectations do kill you so don’t expect too much yeah. But at the same time, I am enjoying my life because they will be something new I have learnt not just in my working things but also myself. You know, sometimes, if feels like I just discover myself    what I love what I hate, is so interesting. Yeah, I know it does sound pretty weird but yeah.   It feels like you are trying to know yourself more. I know I didn’t deserve to write this thing, but it’s okay, this is my opinions. So the topic, I would like to write is ‘is okay to quit your job’ wuuuuuu. I know is sound cliché and I only quit just one job I know, I know, but I still want to write it. To be honest, I am so grateful what I own now. Is not a perfect job I have dream. Working hours 9...

I don't know why lately I feels     low-esteem with myself  . I  just don't know .  Almost everyday I asked my mom ,  ' why I am so hideous ?'  Then my mom will said ' God already created like that , you should be grateful , what if you don't have nose ?'  A long pause there ----- When some people said 'hey , you already beautiful la , or  some may said 'hey . you cute what  and  I was thinking it was a lie  totally a liars I don't know why I always reflect my self some  big and ugly monster sometimes  Yeah to describe how  hideous  I am Then ,  when I am struggle with my own conflict  I don't realize the real me its getting faded  I mean  How to content me with others Until today when my friend said 'why you being so silent ? it makes me feel awkward?' Is that what people see? What people feels ? About me  ...

I like being independent Not so much of an investment No one to tell me what to do I like being by myself Don’t gotta entertain anybody else No one to answer to But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold Someone to give me their jacket when its cold Got that young love even when we’re old Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand Pick me up, pull me close, be my man I will love you till the end So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone Cause when the time is right You’ll be here, but for now Dear no one, this is your love song I don’t really like big crowds I tend to shut people out I like my space, yeah But I’d love to have a soul mate God will give him to me someday & I know it’ll be worth the wait So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone Cause when the time is right You’ll be here, but for now Dear no one, this is your love song But sometimes, I just want some...

Final exams just around the corner as always as a student feelings terrified fear of exams . So do I feel a little bit worried , I think I should because  lately I've been skip many class ah I am so lazy to wake up early in morning well actually I want to wake up but I always overshoot hihi , so lazy to chaos then I continue  to sleep.  I do know why I lose my sense to study , I miss me when I was in matriculation 'boleh tahan rajin ' maybe is been too long I leave it so it needs some time to get back  that sense . After I perform my Isya' , I don't know I feels very sad it just suddenly . I imagined past stories, I imagined my life story . Thought about death . Then I remember this . Maybe this is my luck . I am not good muslimah yeah .  Afiqah : weh semalam dinner number bertuah hang dapat apa ? Me : Cer teka ? Afiqah : Macam buku je . Me: Tak ah Al-Quran  Afiqah : Seriously? Woaa hang ta de rasa apa ke Me : Aku ada...

Have you ever feel you want to be him/ her . I mean  want to be in him/her shoes .  Looks so perfect whatever you want you will get with just finger picking .  Then , when boys/girls passing by looking at you just a first glance and not making the second thought .  Then , no worries any quiz or exam because you actually incredible intelligent .  Have you? Same goes me .  I don't know why suddenly I write it , maybe I motivate myself .  But , this is human nature .  Actually without we  thought that up people who want to be like us . They see us .  Yeah human cycle . We never feels satisfied with our self . Life like a shoes   Looks pretty / smart outside  Try you to wear it Big or Small Try to walk it Loose or  Hurt Then you will know This is my life and Why I Am I  We have different size and different test . God has given us the exact size and fit for us. Our job is to wea...

Finally it's mid-sem break but seriously is not feels like a mid-sem it feels a mid-sem assignment . I had thought to take a break from studying but again after answering statistic paper like a bullshit . Yeah I just don't want to talk about that,  because of  this paper I've skip my statistics class  , yeah lazy to get off from the bed in early that morning then seeing your lecturer face like your seeing  the  answer sheets will get zero . Maybe I am a person so easily get depresses , maybe perhaps ? I dunno . Sometimes we not depress on the work we should done but, the person who we should face it right? Yeah , I know not everyone can follow our pace and not all of us can follow he/her pace. We are born with differences and differences of character. Some said  that the differences can be close friends and some said friend can be triggered when there is a similarity. Gota it? I personally do not know whether I am guilty or not but  if ...

Life is sometimes unpredictable. I do not know why lately I'm too depressed with myself. My fault? Maybe I'm too far away from Allah may this part of the test. Allah may have planned the way my life better. Allah is the  first used for guided me. When I tell my life story to them, they said I was lucky meditating, when I'm alone and reflect upon myself, do I able to maintain this guidance? Too many trials, I almost collapsed. But there is a faith in my heart I will continue to get up and fight, it is not easy to defend something simple collapsing. Let them insult, let them look down. leave. God is all-knowing what is implied. Be patient, O hearts that one day success will come with full meaning.

Kadang-kadang aku tak paham dengan sikap seseorang itu . Kalau nak berkawan mesti tengok family background dia whether from rich family or not . Kalau tak kaya mesti melihat paras rupa cantik ke ta ? . Mungkin ini satu lumrah , Tapi trend kat sini tak macam ni but still they will seeking on something , apa? in courses . Aku tak paham kenapa dorang kalau nak bergaul mesti tengok kepada course seseorang tu  , well yeah not all of them but some , because of this some people mencacatkan pandangan dan pemikiran seseorang kepada seseorang . Gotta it ?  Course kami tak se'gah' nama bangunan kami even our courses in international school but people still look us down , kalau kami sebut apa nama course kami, mereka akan mempamerkan riaksi muka 'ouh course tu je ?' kadang-kadang aku rase macam nak tumbuk terajang je . Nasib aku perempuan . Nasib berbaju kurung . Nasib bertudung . Kalau ta memang aku dah ganyang kau kat situ .  Pernah juga seseorang dari course account...

phts & edit  by myself Alhamdulilah I'm safely arrived my destination this evening , yeah it was  long journey so do my heart  began to move away . May Allah ease me  . Bismillahirrahmanirrahim Life , it will pass us by so fast . But really , it's up to us how far our journey is and when we finally hop off . And in those moments before leaving, you must wonder , was my journey worth it in the end? . And the answer should be 'yes' . -mellifuous Said goodbye , turned around and you were gone,gone,gone . Faded into the setting  sun , slipped away. But I won't cry cause I know , I'll never be lonely .For you are the stars to me , you are the light I follow . In a place far away where the water meets the  sky The thought makes me smile Sometimes I feel my heart is breaking , But I stay strong and I hold on cause I know I'll see you again and this is not where it end , See you again

Do you know the real mean  of ' money' ? Do you know the real mean of 'love' ? Do you know the real mean  of 'family' ? I don't know what those thing real mean . What I know, those three words that when combined give a deep meaning . When you have MONEY they will LOVE you and we as a FAMILY .  I'm tired face of all this drama for 8 years . Maybe they see we  happy, maybe they see we smile, maybe they saw we laugh but they do not see the sense of frustration, tears and hatred.  Not everyone has a happy family, what use money  but not happy, what is the point if the family is not together and hated each other. what is its purpose? Does escape from all this gives them satisfaction?  I do not know when the 'big day' comes.

After three months of waiting, finally the question for ex- students of matriculation was looking forward unanswered at 12 pm today .I feel scared to know what's going to happen, whether I'm pleased or not. I never stop to pray  begging  Allah to facilitate the allegations that have been designated and set my faith and be a brave to know what was in the plan of Allah. I have already know the answered of  the question. I personally could never decipher the feeling when I see the answer is already there. Not sad. Not happy. I just don't know. Maybe this is my destiny  and maybe this is the course of my life that I want to continue . Although at  first I feel heavy heart to accept but do I have other options?. Sometimes we have no choice just the way we make decisions that distinguish it. Sometimes what we dream about things not necessarily it could be reach . Maybe this would be an extremely appropriate. I resigned. I'm pleased. I accept it with a ...

Some people may say why you so slow... but they didn't know what you're great in. Some people may say why you looks so horrible .... but they didn't know your inner beauty is . Some people may say why you always make trouble to them ... but they do not realize that you had lightened their burden. Some people may say why you so arrogant ... but they didn't know  that you are a good person. Some people may say you're out from their standard ... but they didn't realize their are out of standard to be with you . and etc.. Why we always wasting  our time to figure out what they will , might , could be said. Why we always wasting our day to looks perfect while we already  know no body is perfect . And why we always think what 'they said' , those people will say , those people will judge . And why we should scarified our happiness our comfortable because sake of them . Just be yourself . Don't wasting your time , day , minute and second ...

phts&edit by myself  Dear June please be lucky for me . May ? I just don't know . I've  get a job but.. now it's bring me so stressful down to earth I've  met a new friends but ... now they must go somewhere else I've new crush but .. he also go someplace He met me but... it's bring to a huge fight I've a date but ...... --------------------- It's long pause there . I just don't know what to said . Everything went well at first but then everything went wrong . And wrong and always wrong . Yeah like they said someday we'll be on top and someday we'll down beneath into the layers of the earth into how though I'm not sure. But I never felt that I would always be on top always below and below and below.. But With patience and sincerity..I  keep believing on my fate that one day, though not yesterday .. today or tomorrow .. but I still believe that one day my future is bright. I'll make it . ...

I don't know whether this feeling was right or wrong but I think I should let go and keep moving forward . I'm getting bored with you, Bored with all our conversation , Bored with your drama, Bored with everything. Maybe having a crush feeling with you  was enough for me , but loving you , it was wrong and totally wrong and frankly I never fall in love with you. You're my crush since second semester  we met at cafe . I was there you was there .We looking each other and smiling each other . Still remember you staring at me then I'm getting shy hiding behind my friend back  from meeting your eyes. Then.. Since we often bumped several times, looked at each other and smile, we always find a reason and a way to meet. And I also know you already have your partner even you never told it . I'm okay with it.. because you only my crush, love the way your smile, love the way your style , love the way you are . It's not wrong having crush on...

Second semester it just great, we still close each other like always, hang out, do some crazy stuff , haunting our crush again and again  . I should admit it someday I will miss my life and my friends in matriculation , yeah is really hard to met them, we from different country , some from Kedah, Peneng, Pahang , Kelantan . It's impossible  to meet again .  Since lately, too many trials happen to me, sometimes I do not know whether I'm strong  enough to face it.This is beyond my expectations  but I still gave strength to the spirit and feel that this is a test from Allah Almighty . Allah  gives trials to people who can handle it. Many  people are facing trials, massive from me, but why they can handle it with a smile, laughter, I must  be strong. One day the truth will emerge.